I've been married for 18 years, 3 kids, two teenage girls and a 7 year old boy. My marriage had been on the rocks before my son was born, got ok for a while after he was born. my husband works 70+ hours a week, he's pretty much a workaholic, we don't and never really have talked, or have much in common. Back in Oct 2007 an old high school boyfriend (the one i truly loved) contacted me online, sending me an apology for whatever happened between us at 16. We started writing eachother back and forth all the time. Ttalking, im'ing, sending pix of eachothers families, sharing life stories, and how unhappy both of us are in our marriages, (oh yeah, he's married too)... it all actually started out innocent, but there was that "flirting"... ANYHOW, we met in Feb 08, spent a night together. It was the best time ever, we "messed around", but didn't have sex. We talked all night long, laughed, drank wine, just enjoyed eachothers company. After that night, we kept writing, he told me he could fall head over heals in love with me, if he hadn't already. I was already in love with him, still was i guess from when i was a teenager. As time went by, he has stopped writing so much.. now, i pine for him, but he only writes occasionally, it's like we are "just friends" now... i know, i need to get over this, but i can't talk to anyone. My heart aches for him, and i'm angry with him for toying with my heart, perhaps unintentionally, but none the less, he did. I don't tell him this, cause i don't want him to stop writing me altogether. My marriage is horrible, divorce has been brought up several times. I'm just plain miserable. I feel like i hate my husband, and i'm sure he hates me. I know things probably would never happen with this old sweetheart of mine, but he's the only one i want, the only one i dream of, or think about. I've been extremely careful, except for this confession, no one knows, we never called eachother too much, or texted, just wrote on a private email address we share. I know i don't deserve any happiness, i wouldn't want to be his wife or my husband... not with what we did.. but i love him. and now i have to try to let it die, and get on with life.. but i'm so miserable.