Straight Male / 49
Grief And Sex
My wife of sixteen years died. The day it happened her best friend met me at my house after I got back from the hospital and like me she was in pieces.
She asked me if I wanted her to stay so I would not be alone and I nodded yes.
She cooked though I didn’t eat, and we drank a little though not a huge amount.
I was emotional, as was she, but eventually she told me to go to bed whilst she cleaned up. As she came upstairs and said goodnight she too was crying and I beckoned her to lie down with me and we hugged. We were both fully clothed and it was two people shaing our grief. We fell asleep that way.
I woke up a couple of hours later and we were still holding each other, faces inches apart. In the dim light I could see her awake and looking at me, concern in her eyes and feeling a wave of emotion we found ourselves gently touch lips. There was a groan, I’m not even sure if me or her, and slowly it became a deeper kiss. I could feel emotion become arousal, and looking at her see she felt in that moment the same.
I don’t why but in a mix of tears and a need not to be alone we both kissed again, a hard deep kiss and our hands pulled each other clothes aside. I slid into her in what seemed moments and the sex was hard, furious, and yet we clung together through it before I could feel her reach orgasm and as her body shook I came hard too.
I stayed inside her as we held each other, kissing gently, and as she smiled I slowly began to move again and her body responded. We gently made love, and I don’t use that word lightly, because it felt like the one other person that knew my wife as well as I did understood my grief and shared it.
We had known each other since I first dated my wife, yes she is attractive but in all that time nothing, absolutely nothing, had ever happened and yet here within hours of my darling wife passing we were intimate.
The next morning she went home to her husband and nothing has happened since. The strangest thing is when we spoke it was acknowledged, we know we needed each other at that time, and it hasn’t felt awkward. But I still do feel guilty …..
She asked me if I wanted her to stay so I would not be alone and I nodded yes.
She cooked though I didn’t eat, and we drank a little though not a huge amount.
I was emotional, as was she, but eventually she told me to go to bed whilst she cleaned up. As she came upstairs and said goodnight she too was crying and I beckoned her to lie down with me and we hugged. We were both fully clothed and it was two people shaing our grief. We fell asleep that way.
I woke up a couple of hours later and we were still holding each other, faces inches apart. In the dim light I could see her awake and looking at me, concern in her eyes and feeling a wave of emotion we found ourselves gently touch lips. There was a groan, I’m not even sure if me or her, and slowly it became a deeper kiss. I could feel emotion become arousal, and looking at her see she felt in that moment the same.
I don’t why but in a mix of tears and a need not to be alone we both kissed again, a hard deep kiss and our hands pulled each other clothes aside. I slid into her in what seemed moments and the sex was hard, furious, and yet we clung together through it before I could feel her reach orgasm and as her body shook I came hard too.
I stayed inside her as we held each other, kissing gently, and as she smiled I slowly began to move again and her body responded. We gently made love, and I don’t use that word lightly, because it felt like the one other person that knew my wife as well as I did understood my grief and shared it.
We had known each other since I first dated my wife, yes she is attractive but in all that time nothing, absolutely nothing, had ever happened and yet here within hours of my darling wife passing we were intimate.
The next morning she went home to her husband and nothing has happened since. The strangest thing is when we spoke it was acknowledged, we know we needed each other at that time, and it hasn’t felt awkward. But I still do feel guilty …..
