I swear I don't have the normalacy of most people.
I am such a bitch...I can't stand myself! I am spoiled and when I don't get my way...Watch out. Sorry nonsensical rambling in progress...

***EDITED BY AUTHOR AT 6:20pm.***
I wonder what it would be like to be normal? And have a normal train of thought? I swear, one minute I am PERFECTO and not tripping on anything...The next, I am extemely angry inside about NOTHING. (Today because I didn't get my way.) Then I just ramble on about nonsensical bullshit. I can say this much...All my friends are VERY VERY tolerant and they must love me to deal with my mood swings and shit...And my "friend" must be VERY special or VERY bored to put up with my shit. I am so mean to him sometimes. I always tell him he doesn't care...He would have to care at least a little.
I am crazy. However, I have a very good reason for this...My wonderful family. Thank you guys for making me the socially inept and irresponsible human being I am today...I guess I can't really place blame...But it feels right at a time like this. I swear. Sometimes I would rather live in a van by the river than be at this place. I fucking hate it here...Somethings got to give.

And I am pissed because I want what I want and I want it know...HOWEVER I have to wait until fucking January...ARGH. And all of his little bullshit comments about not wanting to get married ever, never buying another diamond, all the other bullshit he says, hurts my feelings. I love it when he comes inside of me because I think that maybe I can get pregnant, but at the same time, I don't want kids...AT ALL. I have other guys wanting to be with me, but I don't want them...I want him....