At 16, I was the typical straight boy dating a girl. We had sex some but it wasn't easy since we had nowhere to do it. I looked at porn & fapped a lot. I'd seen gay porn & although, felt sure I was straight, I was getting turned on by one thing in gay porn. The guys on the top. At 18, I knew fantasy didn't equal orientation so what you jerked off to didn't mean much. I was dating again & getting more sex but still fapping a lot. My porn of choice was gay. I knew what gays still don't. No straight guy takes it up the ass. In fact, no straight guy is fucking another guy. I'd see things like straight fucks gay ass but I knew that was bull. It was a gay or bi top yeah but not straight. In BB porn, you notice that ass on the top most. His ass is the one that always looked best to me. 9 out of 10 times, he looked like the better looking & he wasn't screaming like some woman faking it. I still don't understand why bottom gay guys scream as many do. Some really sound like women which must be a total turn off to most tops. I knew I wanted to try gay sex. I realized I'm not straight if I wanted to do that. I found out about a versatile, top & bottom. Most are bottom but many like to say they are versatile. A real top is not versatile but he will bottom some in the right situation yet never with a bottom gay guy. A bottom wouldn't want him to. I had my eyes set on someone that I'd gone to high school with & that's how it happened.



I knew I guy from high school PE. We both played hard in football. We both loved it. We were both manly men even though we had just turned 18. I'd heard he was really gay but a total top type. He'd had a boyfriend before who is great looking & neither fem nor masculine. I knew who the top was & I wanted his ass. I wanted to fuck him so bad that I was fapping every night thinking of it. We became more friendly in social terms. I invited him to come to my house on a Saturday night. He did. We talked about things we had in common. Sports, video games, movies & more sports. We started to talk about sex & I put some porn on. I came out & asked if he was gay & I remember him asking if I had a problem with it if he was. Nope & you could turn me kinda gay for a night. I found out he was a top. He'd never been a bottom. He'd never had his own finger up his ass but I'd not done that either. That night, we ended up sucking each other's dicks & I got to fuck his ass. It took a while for him to let me even try to do that & then it was hurting him at first. It ended up feeling good for both of us. He said he'd never cum so hard. I know it was the best for me too.


We did fuck once in a while & it was almost like we were dating but he needed a bottom for a relationship. We both loved to fuck top style for it to go too far. Probably how it would be for two bottoms together. I ended up fucking a lot of top gay guys who were similar to that first guy. Most had never gotten fucked. A few had only tried it once. I'd realized even with dating more women that I wasn't straight & then I fell in love with a man who once was a total top in relationships until we met. He was versatile all along. We don't just fuck. We do other stuff too but being in a relationship five years now, there is that once a week we fuck like dogs & I'm on top. The rest of the time we love 69 or rimming each other. I've done it all with him other than I never want to get fucked. He's okay with that. I don't know why I'm like I am. I'm sure it's an ego thing or low self esteem or needing to be in charge but I have a good relationship with my lover. I don't need pussy. It now reminds me of tuna in oil gone bad. I need a dick & ass.