I come bearing some pretty heavy stuff that has been on my shoulders and I have a few things to say, just to maybe, make this like a apology to the person " who we will call Roxy to hide her identity " as if they were reading this

This is about me and my cousin and yes its exactly what you think, we dated for a while.
We were like any ordinary couple dating and being intimate and close in our late teens and early 20's. I assume more than few people in the family kind of knew something was going on between us or knew about our relationship but didn't know for sure BUT I do know for a fact that my other cousin " her sister " had walked in on us in bed together, so I knew for a fact that she knew about us.


Anyways,Roxy is a damn good looking girl with an average build and preppy attire and sometimes liked to party kind of chick. I don't want to say to much about our sex life and make it sound like this is some fantasy because you all know what couples do in bed.


What I'm here to admit most is that after we broke up I kind of realized well, I really really like her, I mean, I think I'm in love with her after being together so long and sharing in a lot of hard times and coming out the other end together, and as they do say you will fall in love with your first. Every day I think about her and have had nights with other girls where I pretended in my head that they were her while making love.


Id admit that when we broke up It really had me feeling lost and so confused and to the point of where I was stealing her undies in her dirty laundry and collecting them just to have her smell close to me and going into her room just to lay in her bed and breathe in the sweet smell of Victoria secret perfume that I once found overly seductive. Sometimes Id just take her ipod and listen to all of her songs... it was real, I loved her and I thought she loved me, I'm glad that we had to experience this together and my most proud with her is that I own her " Backdoor Virginity " that, is a beautiful thing to me.


We lived in the same house and every time I'd see her after the break up I couldn't help but to look at her like any other good looking girl that Id really like, with an intimate attraction. I know its odd but in my mind its not and its just like she is any sexy girl from town. It really sucked because Id have to be there in that house every day with her and imagine that, how you might feel after being dumped in a serious relationship just being forced to live in their house watching as they get new partners and knowing whats going on.


Id like to write a apologize to the sky, to her as if she may read it and just know....
Id like to say sorry for stealing your clothes or all of the other clothing items, its just that it kept your scent close to me.
Id like to say sorry because I knew how upset youd be when you found out I stole your undies, I know they were expensive.
Id like to say sorry, for everything but what I'm not sorry for is having this with you.
Id do anything just to have you one more night and to make it like we once did.


I honestly can not find any other girl more beautiful than you,
nobody makes me hot like you can or makes me smile like you did.
We had fun, I wish we still could.