Confession #37806 | Anonymous Confessions

- Masculine Misadventures -

Bi-Sexual Male / 36

I was m****ted twice growing up. First time I was 10-12yo, a older man and his wife being a willing participant. The second time I was m****ted by a senior member of the church I was going to at the time.

It would take too long to go into the details of how this happened so instead I will just write about the results of being m****ted at a young age, twice!

I'm married and have a lovely wife and a daughter which I love very much. Sex with my wife is good and really can't complain. I travel a lot for work and that has allowed me to release the other side of the happily married man that loves women.

You see I love cock. I've tried to bury that craving since I was 18yo. I got married when I was 21 and I had hoped having sex with my sexy wife would quell that craving for cock, but it hasn't.

When my wife and daughter would be out shopping I would be on my laptop masturbating to gay and Tranny porn. That would help for a few days and sex with my wife would keep me in check so to speak. However, that wouldn't last long and my cravings would return.

I travel for work quite often and that's when I have the chance to satisfy my craving for cock. Once at the hotel I'm Online trolling for cock. When I go to NYC I have a Tranny more than willing to give me all the cock I want. There are times I can barely get to the office spending most of the night sucking a fucking with her.

In Seattle there is a CD who is also married like me. He comes to my hotel already dressed and is very passable. She likes me to fuck her and I enjoy working her cock and sending her home satisfied as I want to be.

In Tuscon there is a young gay guy that is hung like a horse. There isn't enough words to say how much pleasure I get from sucking and stroking his massive cock until he explodes.

Every time I return home I have sex with my wife and each time I'm less satisfied. I have started to fantasize about the others as I have sex with my wife so I can cum.

I've tried not troll online when I'm out of town. I masturbate almost daily, sometimes two or three times a day. I want to tell my wife about everything but I can't imagine what she would think about me.

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# 37806 - by Anonymous

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by Anonymous

I would keep it secret if I were you. I was sissified as a young boy and his older mentor starting when I was ten. Through the remainder of my adolescents and most of my teens I was sucking cock and taking it up the ass wearing panties and dressing up in my sister's clothes.
I told my wife and she said "I knew it, a guy with a ass like yours had to of been fucked!" She became obsessed with it. My secret indiscretions became a part of our marriage with her setting up me with men, gay men she works with....gay dress up parties and her with a strap on. We went from a good husband) wife relationship to me being her bitch!

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How hard is it really to realize you have been violated and the thoughts are and actions are part of the trauma left by perverts that m****ted you. if you really think about it you will be turned off by the idea of gay sex because you are doing it due to the trauma experienced. I can tell you 100% of my gay sex activity was due to trauma once I worked it out in my head and realized the people that abused me are sick the less and less interest I had in gay sex and the less the power people(experiences) and the more and more self awareness and power I gain. you are not becoming what you want to become you are letting an abused direct the rest of your life, who had more power? you? or a mentally ill pervert that m****ted you?

#2- You're probably right. The difficulties I have to wrestle with is that some of the experiences with other boys and yes some men were enjoyable. Sure it almost always hurt when being fucked, it was the intimacy of being seduced by the closeness of the sex that is so confusing.

I was so glad to read your confession. I was m****ted at a young age and hated it with my last breath. Like you I'm married and yet I love cock even though every fiber of my being knows it's wrong. During the sex act I love every single moment, and seeing another cock cum is a thrill I can't explain. After the sex I'm left sick and disgusted with myself. I can't stop this cycle no matter how hard I try.

(1) (0)

To #4 I read your reply, you sound just like me. Molested by a family member early on, he had a big cock and to this very day I troll the internet for men with big cocks. I'm also married but no children, my wife fucks my brains out and yet I crave that big cock whenever I get the opportunity. Afterwards I'm disgusted with myself for a few days until the craving returns.

Why be disgusted by anything sexual (natural)? The first time I had an orgasm at age 14, it happened with a middle-aged married couple who "just had to suck me off" and they did that for some years. Right now, many years later, I enjoy two fellow attorneys in my firm who come in and suck my cock whenever possible. Sometimes they suck my cock together and get my balls involved. I take the sucking, come in their mouths and then we all get back to work. It's all good.

It took me awhile to come to terms with my m****tations by older boys from my adolescents on. When I entered my teenage years graduating eighth grade I also graduated to men as my main other's.

I couldn't resist their sexuality for some reason? I was a cute kid that purposely flirted with other older boys and men wanting them yet being disgusted with my self the moment their wet cock's slipped out of my juicy cum filled ass.

I didn't accept myself and what I was feeling till I was in my later teens. I'd been picked up by a guy when I was hitchhiking to my grandparents house when I missed the last bus at the train station. I was still a pretty kid and looked way younger than I actually was and it gave me an advantage. I'd reached a point when I could play with an older guy who was trying to get in my pants. They'd think I was naively much younger and would carefully with a lot of tenderness try seducing me. It became a game in which I had control.

This guy was different. I knew he picked me up because I was young and cute. I was ready for his advancements and expected them. When he touched me, placed his hand on my knee it was definitely different. When I didn't push it away he suggested we park at a nearby county picnic area.

The moon was bright and he'd undone my cutoffs. The moonlight black lit my white cotton briefs. He'd already kissed me all over and asked if he could "get rid of my underpants?" I answered him by kissing him back. There we were naked in the cool blue moonlight on a warm spring evening, prancing about in the closed picnic area. I made love back to him as he made love to me. I straddled his cock after sucking it with passion. His hands fondling my boyishly cute and smooth cheeks, I whimpered in whispering pants like a boy getting his first fuck from another boy crush.

I thought about that boy crush that I satisfied in so many adolescent ways. He was four years my senior and we seduced each other, summers from my eleventh year till my fourteenth when he moved from where my grandparents retirement home on the lake was.

My man lover took me like I was taken at eleven. He invited me to spend the night at the farm where his studio was at and would take me to the early evening bus the next day. I couldn't say no, it only got better!

I was m****ted by fellow church goer who was also a guy that lived down the road. I was 12-14 when it happened. It definitely messed with my mind and sexuality for a bit. He was in his 50s and although I don't really remember it much because I want to forget it I remember the first time. Oh boy did it hurt, he definitely was hung. I still am very cautious when people get around my butt. In in my late 20s now and my wife knows about what happened. It definitely had an effect on our sex life for the first few years

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