Look guys, I need help on my sexuality and what Id like to experiment with.



I was just broken up with by a girl who took my virginity in High School, back then I felt just as strong towards her and then I found out she went to town cheating on me as I caught her red handed in bed. We stopped talking for ten years and then tried dating again, only to be left broken badly, and blindsided so much that I was in a very dark headspace. she infact out of nowhere blocked me out of her entire life after being together for a few years so that was cold... but now I'm single and thinking.....


I'm a good looking guy and well being single ive taken time to think and to figure out a few things and to look at every option to fulfill any or all of my inside desires.


Ive noticed guys in public who are attractive to me but its a very slim few so far.
I do know that I I don't like muscles or manly dudes so this must mean something that ive come to know this, its just about their personalities that catch me and that's where I find my main attraction.

If the guy has that then I look at sex appeal and if he has that to, I feel like id enjoy having sex with him if we were to be together. Id feel best as a bottom as it fits my personality and how I feel inside.
I kind of always felt that need to be the one to be sexy, or the play toy in the relationship or the one that pleases.


So, after being through that bad relationship where she mentally and psychically abused me for things as simple as wanting to see my friends I want to seriously give this " side of me " a try and or another guy a chance in my life to see what happens. I'm having a hard time with being afraid of judgment and what my family, friends will think.
I know that I shouldn't at all, but its there.


How could I get over this irrational fear ?
I really do not want to miss out on this experience because I have one life to live so I'm okay with trying even if its not what I thought .
I'm me, everyone is different and should freely express their own unique character and I feel like its worth it.


So, please could you help me with this?
How do I go about the fear of being judged ?
Should I try a hook up or try to find a date first?
How do I meet a guy or where ?

Any advice or pointers ?

Thanks everyone, I'm bi curious and thinking I could be bisexual but I want to find out for sure!