My crush on girls has been something that goes back to early puberty, or maybe even earlier. I had very close friends, one of which is my very best friend today. But she and I have never done anything other than being very close friends.

No, my thing is that when I went to study abroad in my junior year of college I roomed with an Italian girl and she really 'liked' girls, she was all over me, kissing me, teasing me, tickling me, boob gabbing, and pussy rubbing. Eventually she did what she wanted which was to go down on me. I liked the sex, I liked being able to actually caress boobs and kiss nipples and touch her pussy and I got to like going down on her. But I never had a crush on her, it was all physical with no feelings. Before we finished our semester and we were both going to go our own way she got very tender and sweet and we really made love, long never ending kisses, caressing, loving, gently touching pussy, tears of having to leave each other. She went with me to the airport and we kissed while people walked around us and stared, don't think that because Italy is liberal they don't stare at girls kissing. She gave me a small charm bracelet and it was a heartbreaking moment. Maybe I didn't have a crush, but I cried on the plane.

When I returned I moped around a long time, spent my senior year in a funk and didn't even feel like I graduated. I didn't interview on campus and went back home to my parents and just hung around eventually getting a nothing job to have something to do. I went out with some girls I knew from high school and I got R by a guy, black eye and all. He kept my panties which he mailed to me later. He sent me a message via one of the girls to meet him at this restaurant in the next town over where he lived. He told me he had been craving me and we left the restaurant without ordering and went to his place and he did me again but this time I opened my legs for it. He slapped me around calling me a real whore but he didn't care he was going to fuck me anyway. He sent for me or called me but otherwise never paid attention to me, but every time he sent for me I opened my legs for him.

I met a girl who came to work at the store I was working at, she had square shoulders, high boobs, thick legs and strong arms, very pretty face with long black hair and blue eyes. She worked out all the time, she ran marathons and had done an Iron Man, she took over bossing me around, and one day she got in my face in the back room and things clicked and she said she knew what I wanted and she kissed me with her hand between my legs. She wasn't at all like my Italy girlfriend, she was hard all over, she barely had a tummy, she waxed completely and her whole pussy mound stuck out, her boobs were perfect globes on her rib cage, her legs were iron and her butt was all muscle, and she had the most beautiful face I had ever seen. I went past the crush stage and fell in love with her and we became a couple. I never went to see my boyfriend again, I blew him off completely.

She worked out several hours a day and she got me into it, she wanted a slim hard body, slim hard thighs and tight butt, no tummy and totally waxed and after several long months of working out with her I looked real different. At the gym she had a reputation for being the hardest of all the women there and everyone looked up to her. Most of the women were in their mid twenties to mid thirties, I know it was women but without blinking you could smell the testosterone. No dicks, but lots of hard clits, spread legs without any vestige of hair on them. It was hard to pick out the butch from the femme, but there were femme body worshipers there too. I guess I fell into that category. During one of our sex sessions I felt like she was fucking me without a dick, it was the same feeling I had when I was fucking with that boyfriend. I kidded her that she really did want a dick. But she is so naturally pretty and she dresses in skirts and dresses to show off her thighs and calves. When she walks her boobs are like rocks, nothing moves. But at work, we sold women's clothes, she goes out of her way to look femme.

I got over the need to be in the gym, I just got bored with it, I stay in shape for her, mostly running and steady workouts but no bodybuilding routines. I am in love with her and she wears my diamond studs all the time now. I never guessed that I would be attracted to a woman like her but I am, or that I would want to be around a bodybuilding gym. Everyone we socialize with has a girlfriend, we don't socialize with any of the men who frequent the gym, not that any of the men there want to be around women.

I thought for the very longest time that I was bisexual, I liked having a man for a while but I realize that I don't switch, and I am in love something I never had before. Maybe I found what I want, I hope so.