It's not so much a regret, it is more of a memory of when I was growing up. I was fourteen and I let the man of the house I was babysitting at feel me up and get his ding dong in me. I knew what was going on the whole time he was feeling me up, I could feel his ding dong against my leg, at one point I was on my knees against the couch and he was behind me dry humping my ass, he got me naked down to my underwear kissing on my boobs mouth and neck and he got his ding dong out and said it was time. I tried holding on to my panties but he pulled them out of my hands and down my legs. I asked him if he was going to fuck me and he said he had to and he fucked me.

It was many years later before I got fucked again, like ten years later until after college. When the guy pulled on my panties I got this flashback until I said fuck it and let go of them and he got me naked and shoved himself into me. Twice I got fucked that way. The second time I was a whole lot older and I slapped his ding dong real hard with my hand and when he complained I told him he deserved that and more and not to fuck me.

I liked getting fucked, the truth is that once I got fucked I liked it when I was babysitting and I liked it when I got fucked right after college. I liked the feeling of it I even liked seeing his hard ding dong and knowing what he was going to do with it. It was like a movie, you know what is going to happen you just have to wait for it to happen.

The guy I am with now is a pleaser, he is always going around pleasing me, getting things for me, washing my car, helping with the dishes, buying me clothes. I have to take off my panties because he won't. Sex with him is something we talk about first, then we have this ceremony of him kissing me a little and touching my boob. He takes his shirt off which is my signal to take off my shirt and bra, he takes off his underpants and I take off my panties, we stand naked in front of the bed, I turn the bed down and get on my back and he gets between my legs and we have sex. He asked me if I am O.K. afterwards and we get dressed for bed and go to sleep.

Once only I got on my stomach and told him that if he wanted to have sex he would have to get my panties off and I wasn't going to turn over either. We didn't have sex.

I don't regret what happened when I was babysitting, in a way I now it was wrong for it to happen but I don't regret it, it is a memory that I have like when I fell off my bike and broke my wrist. It's a memory and I don't have any attachment to it. My one time right after college is a bit different because I sort of liked the guy and I pushed him away.

I guess you are never happy, I really don't much like the way I have sex now.