a week ago i decided to masturbate with a cucumber... it was pretty big, and barely a quarter of it would fit up into my vagina.. so i ended up rubbing it up and down from my clit to my baby hole.. a day later when i pissed it burned coming out! my piss was orange! it was terrible!
i went on for a day with my orange burning pee until i went to the doctor's. i felt sooo bad! was god punishing me for having my way with a vegitable? i ended up telling him that i believed i had an infection and i knew what caused it. i told him that it was most likely from the "insertion of a forieng object." how embarrassing! he didnt make a big deal of it, which was very nice...... but, it was still so humiliating!
after a day of anaylyiss of the urine sample i gave him, he told me that my infection was caused by an e. coli infestation! not some weird vegital bacterium!
i couldve kept the vegitable bit to myself!
embarrassing!

im all better now, but still taking the antibiotics.
never again!