I had promised my mom I would go to church with her Sunday. Saturday night I went to celebrate a friends birthday, and got home around 3 am.
We sat in the pew and things were going well. I felt a huge gas bubble building up. Finally, a point in service where the congregation was singing, so I squeezed out a loooong silent fart.
That was a mistake! It stunk so bad! Everyone noticed it, some were doing the fake coughing.
After the singing, a little girl said real loud, "Mommy, someone pooted!"
My mom knew it was me and chewed my ass on the way home.