My grandmother has dimensia and alzteimer's. These two things together have changed our family and the way we see each other. When my grandmother finally started to leave her house and roam the streets by herself, my family knew that something had to be done. After many fights and tears, we decided to share the responsibility of watching after her instead of putting her in a home. We didnt want to put her in a home not only because some people felt that she would wither away in a horrific environment, it is also very expensive and the money would not go very far. Everyone sad that they would pitch in and divide the work evenly, but one person decided to lash out and accuse everyone else of attacking her and of keeping her away from her mother. Of course she has been the person to help the least with her own mother.
After a year has passed, my grandmother's condition is worse but we still help look after her. However, one person says that my grandmother is too beligerent, when actually all that person needs to do is take her for a walk every once in a while instead of putting her in front of a TV and hope that that will keep her occupied. My god how lazy can someone be? So as a result of that, she has talked to my mother and says that we need to take on more full days of looking after my grandmother so that her fat ass can have some time to herself. Of course this led to another huge fight between the three daughters of the demented grandmother. They are all fighting about what to do with my grandmother again and accusing each other of doing things. For example my one aunt accused my mother of being executive attorney for my grandmother's will and saying that she won't let her see it. My mother isn't the executive attorney person, my other aunt is and my mother wants everyone to be in her mother's life. I am not biased when I say this but my mother has fought the hardest for her own mother while the other two sisters want to take the easy way out so their OWN MOTHER doesn't interfere with their god damn lives.
So now legal issues are arising, my family is being torn apart even more, and I feel that even though she is still my grandmother, looking past the alzteimer's, I can't help but to loathe this person.
Even though the three sisters were not always on best terms to begin with, they were still better before my grandmother began to lose her mind. My cousin, who happens to be my best friend, is the daughter of the least helpful in the family, so it's hard to talk to her about this subject as well. I can't help but to blame my grandmother for this even though I know she can't help it. I dispise half of my family for being so lazy and not even trying to help their own mother. Everything is about money, and I can't stand it anymore how half of my family talks about their mother as if she were some sort of tool as to get more money. I absolutely hate the fact that they talk about her as if she were some old toy that can be thrown away because it now longer served a purpose.
However, I can't help but think of the possibility of what if we put my grandmother in a home? What would happen to my family then? Would we finally be able to find resolve? Or would they stay the same and fight over the will? If we put her in a home sure we would have a lot of our freedom back that we sacrifice now to watch after her. But I know my mother more than any one else would have a huge guilt on her heart for putting her mother in a place where she would just stare out a window all day without any loving person to be there with her. And the sad thing is, I don't know if I would feel that guilt. My grandmother is not the person I grew up knowing. I have to resent the fact that she puts us through so much pain, even though it isn't intentional. What do I do? Keep living through all the tears and hope that maybe this will all be over soon with her death? How could I think something like that? Do I sit here and hope that my family can finally agree on a solid arrangement for my grandmother? My god, I don't know what to do...there's nothing I can say or suggest that they will listen to because they are all set in their ways and opinions.
Tomorrow will be Hell. At work I will see my mother and my cousin from the most unhelpful person along with her dad who is an ass hole to begin with but after her his shallow wife talk about my mother like she murdered someone he will most likely take it out on my mother. My cousin will probably try to get me to agree with what her mother has to say. Tomorrow will be Hell. My mother doesn't deserve rotten treatment from my uncle and I won't be able to handle my cousin trying to persuade me of something that she barely understands herself.
What will happen when a final decision is made...who will be hurt the most and who will go on with their life without so much as batting an eyelash?
