im am married to a wonderful man who for the first time in my life im not afraid of. my first husband was very abusive and it took alot of courage for my to leave him. after i did i took control of my life and ive kept control all these years. i married my second husband out of loneliness but i do love him. the problem is after years of thinking id never do any better i found someone that i am in love with and im afraid because im not in control of things anymore. my husband is younger than me and me leaving would hurt him but im also the not so niave that i beleive that he couldnt live without me. he can. just as i can live without him afraid of being alone is the thing that keeps up together. we love each other,yes, but not the way two people who will spend their lives together will.this other man is a friend of my husbands and he is also married and although we both tried attraction got the better of us and now im in the position of being afraid of wha can happen if i give up my organized life for the unknown. but at the same time i have all this fear i cant stop thinking about him. i hear him talking to me all the time in my mind. i find myself wondering how he would respond to situations i find myself in at different times through the day. i dont know what to do. i think im to old for the schoolgirl fantasies i have about us but they they are every day. i see this man once a week privately and everyday at work so its hard to maintain a distance. he seems to know what im thinking and feeling all the time.im afraid and thrilled all at once. i dont want to be 31 and divorced twice, without any idea where my life is headed. worse is i dont want to be responsible for breaking up his marrage even though he says it has been over for 10 years.