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Anything Goes
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Before you read this, please don't flame me, I am really sorry for everything I've done!
When I was born, my parents felt like they were saving the world. Why? As members of the Unified Caucasian Church, they were matched up as a "good genetic match" and instructed to have as many blond, blue-eyed babies as possible. I was baby number 12! My parents went on to have two more kids. Despite being painfully poor, we were so proud of having so many perfect Aryans in our family. Of my 13 siblings only 2 have dark hair.
In fact, my whole family was considered perfect white people. On my father's side, everyone had belonged to the KKK before joining the UCC. My grandfather killed black people who tried to register to vote in the South. On my mother's side of the family (German), her father was a Nazi and two of her uncles started neo-Nazi groups in Germany. She came here in the 50s to look for an Aryan husband --kind like a mail order bride service for white supremacists.
We went to a UCC church and were home schooled with an emphasis on "The History of Caucasian People". I am shamed to say that Hitler was considered a saint. We even had a picture of him with like a halo around his head. We celebrated his birthday with a German chocolate cake!
My family did a lot of bad things to black people and Jews. Hate mail and so on. It was mostly my parents and my brothers, but my sisters and I helped prepare letters and once, I threw a Molotov cocktail through a store window.
When I was 13 and became a woman (had my first period), my family started looking for a husband for me. I was married at age 14 and 1/2 to a German distant cousin who was 22. He had already been married, but divorced his 1st wife when he learned that she had a Gypsy great-grandmother. I got pregnant right away and had 3 kids in a little less than 3 years. Then I had a nervous breakdown and just left the farm and started walking down the highway in my nightgown trying to give people my kids. I ended up in the state mental hospital.
While I was there I met people of different races for the first time. My pyschologist was from India. He helped me to see how my family twisted me. Eventually, I decided to get a divorce and get custody of my kids. But my husband took them and disappeared. I know that racist groups are helping him hide. My kids are 10, 11, and 12 now and don't know me at all.
I got a divorce and custody in absentia and have tried to move on with my life. My husband and I recently decided to adopt a child. (He had a vasectomy 5 years ago and it is irreversiblke because of an infection that followed). I am thinking a good way to atone would be to adopt a non-white child. But my husband thinks that my past would make such a child feel uncomfortable, what do you think?
When I was born, my parents felt like they were saving the world. Why? As members of the Unified Caucasian Church, they were matched up as a "good genetic match" and instructed to have as many blond, blue-eyed babies as possible. I was baby number 12! My parents went on to have two more kids. Despite being painfully poor, we were so proud of having so many perfect Aryans in our family. Of my 13 siblings only 2 have dark hair.
In fact, my whole family was considered perfect white people. On my father's side, everyone had belonged to the KKK before joining the UCC. My grandfather killed black people who tried to register to vote in the South. On my mother's side of the family (German), her father was a Nazi and two of her uncles started neo-Nazi groups in Germany. She came here in the 50s to look for an Aryan husband --kind like a mail order bride service for white supremacists.
We went to a UCC church and were home schooled with an emphasis on "The History of Caucasian People". I am shamed to say that Hitler was considered a saint. We even had a picture of him with like a halo around his head. We celebrated his birthday with a German chocolate cake!
My family did a lot of bad things to black people and Jews. Hate mail and so on. It was mostly my parents and my brothers, but my sisters and I helped prepare letters and once, I threw a Molotov cocktail through a store window.
When I was 13 and became a woman (had my first period), my family started looking for a husband for me. I was married at age 14 and 1/2 to a German distant cousin who was 22. He had already been married, but divorced his 1st wife when he learned that she had a Gypsy great-grandmother. I got pregnant right away and had 3 kids in a little less than 3 years. Then I had a nervous breakdown and just left the farm and started walking down the highway in my nightgown trying to give people my kids. I ended up in the state mental hospital.
While I was there I met people of different races for the first time. My pyschologist was from India. He helped me to see how my family twisted me. Eventually, I decided to get a divorce and get custody of my kids. But my husband took them and disappeared. I know that racist groups are helping him hide. My kids are 10, 11, and 12 now and don't know me at all.
I got a divorce and custody in absentia and have tried to move on with my life. My husband and I recently decided to adopt a child. (He had a vasectomy 5 years ago and it is irreversiblke because of an infection that followed). I am thinking a good way to atone would be to adopt a non-white child. But my husband thinks that my past would make such a child feel uncomfortable, what do you think?
