When I was in Junior High this man who owned an antique store was caught with a high school kid. My father wanted him hanged, my mother told me that it was a difficult situation and she felt sorry for the man and the boy, she was sure the boy was there because he wanted to be there. The man was sent to jail and lost his business.

Move forward twenty five years, I am the gay one. My father won't talk to me, my mother divorced him over his treatment of me. I discovered my attraction in college, maybe in high school but I just wanted her to be my best friend. I first did something in college, with the quintessential hot soccer star. My crush on her was a hundred times stronger than my high school crush. She really wasn't my type on an emotional level, controlling and demeaning.

In my early twenties I tried straight, got married, had two kids and died inside every day. I met my current love who was my younger daughter's preschool teacher. My husband walked me down the isle when I married her.

There is no telling why you love someone, or why you love your lover one way and love your husband another way. As I have matured I realize my husband is the most important man in my life and his love for me is very important to me. My wife is my hot love, she fills my heart in ways I never knew I needed.

Life is complicated, my father abandoned me, my husband embraced me. My mother gave up her marriage for me, my wife gives me love I never imagined existed. I feel for that man from my childhood.