Some people call it flash backs, others mental recall. Me I call it my lucid past reliving itself outside of my mind walls.
What I'm talking about, is waking up most mornings now with a rock hard boner, knowing I've been dreaming of taking my brothers cock up my arsehole.
It's so clear and so vivid a dream, I at first woke up thinking I'd just been fucked by him. But then as my brain relapsed time after time, I realised I had.
It was a couple of months before I put two and two together and allowed myself to go over my dreams in detail. Only then did the wall fully collapse and I saw the truth for what it is.
Col is older than me by four years. He's what many would consider to be the archetypal hunk and he's had plenty of women to prove his status.
Yet I know another side to him and I also know at the age of, well that doesn't matter, he fucked me nightly for over two months.
I'd blocked it out. Sent it to the furthest reaches of my mind. And only a comment from a colleague brought back a chink of light to that memory. Knowing what I did, I searched my mind for the reality of our past sexual relationship and found I loved the growing memory of it.
The initial pain, the distrust and the hurt of his anger if I resisted too much. Then the feeling of joy filled me and I knew I'd grown to love his hardened penis touching my insides. It had become a beacon of our love and I treasured those moments. Looked forward to them even.
And then he was challenging me to give myself completely. It was bare sex, hard sex and I adored him for it. His cock, his long thick cock entered me each time with renewed force and I became his under his spell.
The sense of my youth, didn't know it wasn't exactly right, yet it didn't matter even if I did sometimes question it. What mattered was giving him pleasure and ultimately receiving his seed deep inside my bowels.
Cumming, it's a strange word and often used to debase a sexual act. Yet cumming with his cock buried deep inside my asshole, was the essence of me achieving my nirvana with him.
We'd never talked about it, not until recently. Then as I raised it, he became defensive. I was his back then, and he still turned that situation to control the narrative between us. He didn't need to as I explained my wall collapsing.
The wall has gone. My memory increases each day and each it grows ever more beautiful. My brother visits and we journey back to the days when his manhood entered my love hole.
We're obviously older now and understand our roles much much better. Only I indulge myself within him sometimes these days, and take my own exultation from his ass.