I recently got married for the second time, and I have literally never been faithful to him.

My first marriage was messy. I ended up moving in with a friend and her new boyfriend to help with expenses for us all. The boyfriend, Chris, is an absolute a hole. Yes, he is tattooed, muscular, well built all that but he is a total prick. Borderline abusive, physically and emotionally.

He of course came on to me too, many times. Groped me a few times. Eventually, my friend decided to break up with him. She was upset, crying, but had to she felt. She went to stay with her parents for the time being. The problem was, I had nowhere else to go.

I met my now husband Connor, and it was instant attraction and chemistry. He has a warm smile, strong arms, and is so loving and passionate, yet calm and cool. He is an amazing man, and I do not deserve him.

Our first date went amazing. We we had wine, we ate, we laughed. As he was dropping me off at the apartment, we had a goodnight kiss in the car that was electric. He is an amazing kisser. I was turned on, it had been awhile. The kiss turned in to more kissing, making out, touching and rubbing and I wanted him. I invited him in. He considered it, but declined. He said he very much wanted to but he is interested in something more with me, and didn't want to ruin it by having sex with me before we get there. It was sweet. I loved that.

But...I was still very worked up, and a little buzzed from the alcohol. So, I come in the apartment to Chris sitting on the couch, watching porn with his dick out. This wasnt the first he had done that, but it was the first I went over and watched with him.

He asked about the date, asked if I fucked him. I said no, I'm not a slut. He laughed and said yeah, but here you are watching me stroke my cock. I turned to him to say no I was not but then I looked at it, and him stroking it and then I was watching him. And I kept watching him. And I was getting very wet.

He told me to come sit by him. I said no, thanks I'm good where I am. He said I didn't ask, slut, get your ass over here. For some reason, I did. I sat next to him as he stroked his cock slowly. He said looks good doesnt it. I didnt answer, just watched. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me down on it. I didn't resist. I let him shove it in my mouth, and I sucked on it like automatic.

I let him face fuck me there on the couch. After a few minutes he pulled my hair again and threw me back on the couch. He nearly ripped my dress off and put a hand around my throat as he entered me. He commented how wet I was. How he always knew I would be a slut.

He fucked me hard, his hand around my throat most of the time. Telling me how worthless I was. What a whore I was. How I should be thankful he even bothers to use my pussy to take his cum. I don't know why being talked to that way made me cum.

After he finished with me, I went to my room and cried. I felt awful. For some reason, he has this hold on me. Every time he calls me names, grabs my hair or throat its like my brain shuts off and I just...let him have me. From then on, he was fucking me regularly.

It was a month before the first time Connor and I had sex. But I had been fucking Chris regularly. Several months later, Connor and I got engaged. Chris took me as soon as I told him. He came on the engagement ring and made me lick it off. I moved in with Connor. Chris volunteered to help me move my things. Ended up talking Connor to go get some food to celebrate the new apartment, and when he was gone Chris took me first in the new bed Connor had bought. Chris fucked me the night of my bachelorette party and...he fucked me on my wedding day when I went to change out of my wedding gown to a more comfortable dress late in to the evening.

I absolutely hate Chris. I despise him. But, I still let him fuck me whenever he wants. He just has to call me names, grab me, whatever, I can't say no.