For example, I never got to choose the man I would belong to, marry, bear children for, keep a home, etc. I was a freshly turned eighteen year old first semester college student when I was taken at a party of upperclassmen and was thrown on a mattress and summarily fucked. Of course he sees it differently. I was from that day to this day 'his'.

Would I have liked to study something I chose? Yes, of course. Did I study what he wanted me to study? Yes of course. Did I have a career, a professional career? No. My career was right there in front of me, three under the age of three. I really expected to have four under the age of four, but I got a break between number three and number four.

Sure, he is a top professional and I have had all the creature comforts, nice home, etc. But I was a homemaker, not the nurse I wanted to be. My degree was quite satisfactory for being a mother with several kids, not to mention the several grandchildren we have now. I studied elementary education, but I was more than capable of being a nurse, or even a physician like my husband. But two of us in high stress health care with a large family? Not likely, better learn how to be a teacher.

My husband has always made it clear, he 'owns' me. I gave up the right to be free to make my own choices one week after my eighteen year old birthday, a freshman who went to a frat house party. Not that he hasn't 'taken care' of me. I just can't complain, but I do complain. This isn't the life I would have chosen.