During my junior year in college I spent a semester in Rome. It was nice in a whole lot of ways but it was also lonely. The roommates I had were both British and we did not get along all that well. So one weekend I decided to go out on my own and took the train to Florence. My first time out, I had my guide book and I had decided on what it was that I should see. I walked around and bumped into the same guy several times. Walking past the Statue of David he approached me and asked my name, he was Italian and a student and gave his name as Paulo.

He more or less rushed me and sat me down at this small café and ordered a coffee for both of us and while I wasn't looking, just like that he grabbed my purse and ran. My money, passport, my credit card were all in my purse and my ticked back to Rome. About half a block away as he ran a tourist stuck his arm out and knocked him down and when he tried to get up he pushed his head and knocked him out. I got my purse back and couldn't stop myself from crying.

I thanked him and went back to the station and went back to Rome, scared. My roommates said it happened because I had gone alone. My family in the States told me to come home. I packed and left the program and headed back to the States where I finished college and teach fourth grade in my old elementary school.

I don't trust men, if I have to get close I seize up. No amount of talking changes the way I feel. I know a man stopped the thief, but the man thief got my purse. I don't trust Grandpas, or college men, or taxi drivers. I spend all my time working out how to get around, how to avoid being around men. I dream about getting r**ed in the middle of the night. I go to work and I always wear a large menstruation pad which if not real I stain in case some man wants to take my pants off he will think I am on my period. I 'feel' men walking behind me and I harden up inside waiting for the hit on the head and being dragged off into a corner. I know I am going to get r**ed, I just don't know where.