So many years ago when I was thirteen I sucked the boy next door. He was fifteen and he had a real nice cock and he let me suck him, put his cock in my mouth and just enjoy the feeling until he got horny enough and then he would fuck my face, my mouth, my ass. He liked ass fucking me and I liked him ass fucking me. We never did anything romantic, like hugging or kissing. Basically he took his cock out and I sucked him.

Well life goes on and we went through high school and graduated and went on with our lives. After college he got a job working as flight attendant on one of the major airlines and I heard that he was queer and he moved to the West Coast and one day I heard that he had died of cancer. Of course it was AIDS but at that time the polite thing to say is that he died of cancer.

After he died I started to look at cocks when I was in a public restroom, wondering what that cock, or that one over there, would feel like if I sucked it. I just looked, never tried anything. But I looked and from time to time I locked eyes with someone and I felt bad and went on with my business. The urge to look at cocks never died down. I started to masturbate in public, or drive around with my hard cock in my hand. I got caught in a movie theater at an afternoon performance and found guilty of public indecency. It was very embarrassing and of course I couldn't explain it to anyone.

I was masturbating late at night at a public park. I was in the zone and just wanking and enjoying the summer breeze. This homeless guy had seen me and came over and offered to wank me off if I gave him twenty bucks. His hand on my cock was magic, I got harder than ever and I got this urge to want to kiss him, I wanted to suck his cock and I wanted him to fuck me. But I just let him wank me off and I gave him the twenty bucks. It wasn't until several weeks later that I sucked his cock. I was over hungry for cock and he told me I was hurting him, I had to go slow and suck his cock slowly. He was hard enough and he ended up jerking off in my face and mouth. I stayed down on my knees looking up at him. He peed in my face and called me a freak. I stopped going to the park.

Many years went by, I would go and find a parking lot and wank off in the car. My car had semen stains all over the dash and steering wheel. Sometimes I would wank myself in my pants and come in my pants and then go into an IHOP or Denny's with my wet cum and order a cup of coffee. I checked out all the men who were there alone, drooling at the though of sucking one off. It was at an IHOP that I made eye contact with this man. He was obviously blue collar and he kept grabbing his cock in his hand and moving his head towards the bathroom. I finally caught on and went ahead of him and he followed and I gave him a quick blow job in the stall. I remember his cock, it was thick and hairy and it tasted like piss but I came before he did and when he did I let him spread it over my face and mouth.

I would meet him at the IHOP, usually around three a.m. and go out to his work truck and suck him off. He was always hard and he always came and I always got at least a mouthful of his semen and licked the rest off his cock. This one night he started to rub my back while I was sucking him off and he slipped his hand in the back of my pants and he felt up my backside and got his finger on my hole. He could tell I liked that and he said that we should go to the motel and check in and get naked. I hadn't been fucked in over forty years, he fucked me and it felt so good I almost cried. I remembered my friend of so long ago, this man's thick hairy cock in my ass and I loved every minute of it. After he fucked me he told me that I must be crazy, letting anyone fuck me bareback. I asked him what the difference was, I sucked his cock and swallowed every bit of his cum that I could get so why not let him fuck me bare back. And he did. From then on we met at his shop, skipped IHOP and the motel and I sucked him off and he fucked me.

One day I wanted to kiss him. He let me but told me that was for sissies. But he let me and for the first time I kissed with a man. I wanted him to hug me tight, to hold me and kiss me. He called me a sissy. I mean I am 220 and 6 foot tall, but I still wanted to be kissed and held and caressed and he did, he did it and called me a sissy and I sucked his cock and he fucked me and he called me a sissy. One day he called me out and asked me if I was fucking anyone else because if I was I should get out, he didn't want anyone else getting their cock in me. I said no, I didn't, I just wanted to be with him. To kiss me and tell me he loved me that is what I wanted. He told me he loved me but that I was the worst sissy he had ever met. He fucked me and I sucked his cock early in the morning before he went to work. By then he would leave me at his shop to sleep and I would wake up with the taste of his cum in my mouth and his cum in my ass. When he was dressed and walked out to go to work I would tell him I loved him and he would call me a sissy.

He is the first man I loved. He and I came from far apart socially, my work was taking care of rental properties I had inherited, and soon I had him sleeping in my bed in my house, fucking me at night, kissing and telling me he loved me. It wasn't the same fucking in my bed as it was fucking with him late at night in his shop but it was nice and it was regular and it gave me the opportunity to show him that I loved him. I don't know why but one of the things I liked about getting fucked in my house is that I could get fucked while holding on the back of the chair in the living room and look at my pool. He has a thick hairy cock, it isn't that you should be in love with someone because they have a thick hairy cock, but if he hadn't I would probably not gone back to the IHOP.