Creepy is what it is. I moved into a new house with my lady and we got married in our back yard with all our friends. We didn't know anyone in the neighborhood and had not met our neighbor. I stood beside her, and I could not help but keep looking up at the window next door where he stood looking at us waving his finger at me and saying no to me. All through the ceremony and the reception which was outside on the deck he stood there and when I looked up at him he waved his finger at me telling me no. That night, my wedding night I was not able to get in the mood. We had a little sex and then just slept tight.

My neighbor spots me and goes out the mailboxes when he sees me and tells me that I am a sinner. He tells me that for a 'pretty girl' I am wasting God's blessings. I also get mail from him about being a 'good wife' and God's will. He offers to introduce me to eligible bachelors who want a wife and children. He dislikes my wife intently, he says she is an aberration, what can I say I like dykes. He has offered to introduce me to his pastor so that I can be helped.

I won't lie, I go to his house and talk. My wife works as a harbor pilot and she is out at odd hours and when I am alone I go over there to be lectured. The stupid thing is that I feel like my father is talking to me and it is comforting in the most bizarre way. I know that I am 'wasted' from their point of view, I should be bearing children now. If only, but I am what I am. I wasn't born that way, to be a suburban wife to a man and have children. I am 'off' and although he has gotten me to feel 'pangs' in my 'insides' about children I just can't work up a desire and my wife is definitely not one who wants little kids messing up her life.

But I do sit by the window in my house around dinner time and watch the kids on the street playing ball and riding their bikes and the moms standing together talking. I can't go out there, I am not one of 'them' so I go next door to be where I know that I am liked and sit and have coffee and talk about why I am distorted and how it is that my life is the way it is and how my calling is to be a mother, he swears that is my calling, but for one stupid gene that got out of whack.