I moved several months ago into a friendlier neighborhood. I am 68 and lived most of my life on the south side of town, very straight, very middle class, very family oriented. I moved here to a mixed community, lots of Hispanics, some blacks, bohemian, and a healthy mixture of older gay men. At least to me, I guess I overlook the younger crowd.

I am not out, as the saying goes. I have an ex wife, three kids, grandkids, my mother is still alive. I have been a closeted bottom for all of my life. I am a love maker, kissing, touching, hugging, certainly cock sucking and mounting, I do have a thing for being mounted. I lean heavily towards confident, empowered gay males. I have never had any type of a relationship with a passive bottom like myself. I need a hard cock, I don't care if it is hard because it is on Viagra, as long as it is hard and owned by a man who intents to fuck.

My slip into my perversion started early. At the time my father had a photo business, weddings, portraits, birth's, family pictures, nothing commercial. He had an assistant Karl. Karl was from Germany, had survived the war and had come over married to a nurse he had met in Stuttgart after the war. Karl like boys, naked boys. Karl started jerking me off, and sucking my cock. Sometimes Karl kissed me. I loved his hot lips, being held tight in his arms as he kissed me and jerked off my cock. I was much older when I first got to hold his cock, I guess at that time he was in his forties, my hand went around his staff, his staff got hard. I started kissing his cock and eventually he had me suck him holding my head hard between his hands. After I sucked him he would kiss me, sometimes his bristles tickled my face. Many times I came in my pants.

I was going into the eleventh grade when Karl first fucked me. I leaned over the table where the photographs were lined up, it was dark in the room that afternoon, he grabbed my cock under my legs and squeezed my cock really hard and he licked and tongued my hole and then got behind me and push by push he inserted his cock until he had was slamming his hips against me as he fucked. I don't remember any pain, all I remember is pleasure, a high. He came and slipped his cock out of my ass and wiped my ass clean with a Kleenex. I was always available to get fucked.

Once I left home to college I only had contact with Karl when I came home for holidays and during the summers when I worked at my fathers photography business. I was Karl's boyfriend in all senses. Karl was a full blown gay man and I was his sissy boyfriend. I loved laying naked and Karl running his hands all over me, kissing me, jerking on my cock, cock sucking me, feeling me up and fingering me, lifting my legs up and leaning over me to fuck me. As always after he was done fucking he would fall on me and after a minute kiss me hard on the mouth. I am very much the sissy when it comes to sex.

After I got married to the daughter of my mother's best friend, had children, went to work as an Engineer in the aircraft business I had to stop and hide, suppressed my feelings and desires. I jerked off a lot, I am afraid I didn't' fuck my wife as much as she needed. She was very much a frustrated housewife, who eventually got into an affair with a man who owned an Air Conditioning business and we got divorced. I have been divorced and single ever since, bouncing from man to man, most all of them strangers I meet at bars over on the bad side of town. I got blackmailed a couple of times, but that went away as well.

So now, I am retired, I have some funds and I bought this place in this up and coming section of town. I met John, he is a retired fireman with a pension, like me spent a lot of years married and is now living the way he wants. Of course it isn't like Karl, may he rest in peace, John is not as dominant and he much prefers to fuck doggy style. He does like to have his cock sucked and stroked and likes having his asshole reamed which I have learned to like, anything to please him. I go over to his place, do his laundry, I wear lively panties for him, I suck his cock, watch some television, and we go upstairs to make out, kiss and touch, until he is ready to fuck. I am always ready to fuck, it takes about a half hour for his Viagra to work and we spend that half hour doing what I like, touching, kissing, reaming, playing cat and mouse.

He is not Karl, not close, but he is all I have right now.