My father died of a self inflicted wound. He left us in the street. He had a gambling problem and the house was mortgaged the bank accounts empty the life insurance not existent and the credit cards maxed out. My mother had a nervous breakdown and lost her job. My friend in school took us in. I slept with her in her room and my mother got the small guest room. I was 13 at the time.

She and I have been sleeping together now for ten years, all the way through high school all the way through college and we live together and sleep together. Sometimes we fight for the blanket and sometimes we spoon. Sometimes we say I love you and walk on and sometimes we say I love you and make love. We talk about boys but of course we have never really talk about boys.

My question to myself and to her is if you are born to fall in love like this or if it is an accident driven by tragedy? Are we lesbians or are we just two girls who can't seem to move on? I am going to say lesbian because it has been ten years and because I do love her but neither one of us has ever dated anyone and much less gone out with a guy.