Good for you. At least you are expressing yourself honestly and openly, even if it is anonymous. Coming to terms with being gay doesn't come easy for everybody. I was turning 50 years old before I finally accepted myself as gay.
Following on #1 statement, I am a cop and being gay is not what I wanted to accept. I was married, I had a family and I fought these gay inclinations since I was old enough to remember. I succumbed, it wasn't only feelings. I succumbed but I found an excuse for it, and tried never to succumb twice to the same man. As I got older, into my forties the perversion got stronger and stronger, and I succumbed more and more. One day my wife asked for a divorce, she said I wasn't there for her anymore. She was right, the divorce freed me and now I live openly as a gay man (I quit being a police officer) and I am in serious relationship with a guy I met at a gay mixer in the neighborhood I moved to. It is not Honey I'm Home, but it is come upstairs and spend the night with me.
Seems like gay stories to me which is a category of its own!
Nothing wrong about being gay, but some guys are bi-sexual like me. I don't enjoy making out with a guy, have no desire to kiss any other part of a guy's body aside from sucking his cock, and having him ease himself inside of me.
I resisted encounters with another man for a long time, and recently met someone in the same situation, in a relationship and who has no desire to change their current situation. It's a perfect arrangement for us, but I can see how not ideal for some. Unfortunately, I need to get used to his dick, which is quite thick. I can't wait to be able to enjoy him fucking me.
Well to take this back to embarrassing moments, When I was 12 my mom walked in on me sucking my 15 year old boyfriend's cock. She was supposed to be shopping and my boyfriend talked me into "borrowing" some of my Mom's sexy lingerie, all pink lace and fishnets, her pink high heal shoes. I put my hair in pigtails and he promised that if I pretended to be a girl and sucked him off he'd give me my first blow job. So I agreed but half way into getting into drag I was so turned on I really wanted to be his girlfriend instead of his boyfriend. So I was on my knees and he was holding onto my pigtails and fucking my throat and I was so turned on feeling his cock slam into the back of my throat and just as he started to cum my Mom walks in. He couldn't stop at that point. I just took it and swallowed as fast as I could trying to ignore the fact that my mom was standing there with her arms folded stomping her feet.
I was sooooo embarrassed. I though she'd be pissed off at me for being gay. I wasn't out. Turns out the only thing she was pissed off at me about was borrowing her lingerie. She wasn't that angry at my boyfriend, a little but not a lot. She sent him home and when he'd gotten out the door she burst into laughter. She told me I was the silliest sissy she'd ever seen. She made me strip naked while she critiqued my body and finally declared me devoid of any masculine qualities whatsoever. The next day Mom took me shopping for girls clothes and got my ears pierced. She bought me some make-up and perfume and jewelry and shoes and some other things. When she got me home she told me I could date my boyfriend under one condition. I could only go out with him in drag. I could not believe how pretty I was when she got done with my hair and make-up. She took tons of pictures and then used them to blackmail me into getting good grades and doing my chores and letting her dress me up as her daughter for mother daughter days out.