Stupid, naïve, dumb and controlled are just an example of me from the time I was 11 up until I was a few months past 13. My mother was an idiot for trusting Brian to care for me. He was a life long friend and x boyfriend who lived a few miles from my house. My mom was a flight attendant at the time and away overnight and at times away 2 or 3 days. He was extremely nice to me even when he and my mom broke up their relationship. They were still close friends after their breakup and I was always comfortable around him. He treated me much better than my father ever did and when my father moved out I was only 6 and hardly ever heard from him. I might have been younger but think I was 11 when Brian began manipulating me. I can't explain how it developed but when I stayed at his house we began seeing each other naked which I am certain he had planned well. He made it seem like it was acceptable but that we wouldn't tell my mom about it and it was our secret. He treated me and called me a princess taking me to movies and the amusement park if I was left with him a few days. He was always attentive playing games with me and watching whatever I wanted on TV. When I bathed he would come in and talk with me and then he would undress and shower while I was still in the bathroom. It seemed to me like it was ok for us to see each other naked and he would tell me how my body would change and look like my mom some day. He began mentioning our body parts pointing to my vagina, buttocks and breasts which he said I would soon develop. Then he point to his body telling me the names for his penis, scrotum, buttocks and say and show me his anus. Each time it was our secret and my mom shouldn't be told about it because she wouldn't understand. He would tell me he wanted to educate me about my body and a boys body but no one else should know about it. The strange thing is I never felt intimidated or fearful of him. This went on for I don't recall how many months and then the touching began.


It started with him having me lay in bed naked and he would start at my shoulders and rubdown my body asking me if it felt good the way he did it. It not only felt good but I naively asked him to do it many times. After a short time he began doing this after I had a bath and after he took a shower. By that time he was still naked as he did this which didn't concern me at all. At that time I was so accustom to seeing him naked I just laid there appreciating how I was being pampered by him. When I was laying on my back he would sit between my legs lifting them and rubbing them from my ankles up to my vagina. He regularly rubbed my vagina and to me it just felt good and I never thought about what he was doing. This went on a few times a months and weekly when my mom had a busy schedule. By this time Brian had me under his control and I was very satisfied the way he took care of me. It went on like that a long time before he convinced me to administer the same thing to him. I'm not sure how old I was when that began but it soon developed where I would touch his genitals and hold his penis. He naturally got erections when I touched him like that but he never used that word and only said swelled up. That time frame now is a blur since I don't remember when things changed. All I recall now is that he began stimulating me with his fingers and I began to experience orgasms. He never fully penetrated me but I vividly remember being aroused not realizing at the time I was being sexually abused. As I began to develop breasts I still was never embarrassed by Brian seeing me naked or me seeing him. I enjoyed it when he had me aroused and never thought about telling my mom or anyone. My mom was also away sometimes with Kenny who she had been dating for a couple years. Some weekends I stayed with Brian when my mom and Kenny went away. A year or so went by and eventually Brian began having me rub body lotion on his genitals. He would get an erection and tell me he had to relieve himself and then masturbate in front of me. By then I think I knew what he was doing but not only liked watching him, I liked seeing him ejaculate. After a month or so watching him and having him satisfy me he got me to jerk him off. The first time he held my wrist and had me hold his erection then got me to do it by myself. It didn't bother me one bit since I wanted to make him happy. Then in March that year my mom married Kenny and we moved to Chicago that May when my mom switched Airlines. I never told anyone about this and after moving I did see Brian a few times when he visited but our interaction with each other was over and never spoken of. I'm married and have two kids, both girls, and am extra careful of who they associate with. I would and will never let them stay with any man the way my mom had Brian take care of me. For a long time I thought I was partly responsible for what went on but know now it was Brian who was a p**ophile. Naïve and dumb I am guilty of but know how I was manipulated by him.