I married a nice man from Ontario, Canada. I mean he is nice, a real nice man. I met him when he was doing a part time job after he got laid off. I have a college degree and worked in accounting. But I moonlighted as an escort. I never told him about my night life. In any event I let him date me and he is a good man with a good job, now we live in Chicago where I am looking for a job, not as an escort.

I don't know how, or if, or what to do. I feel guilty about my past. I never did doing it, I started as a stripper in college and then a hooker for the club I stripped for, and after I got out of college I picked up money working as an escort. I worked for a lady that my boss at the club referred me to. My clients will never be the type of men that my husband will ever meet. And I have a pretty good memory, if they even got close I will shut it down.

My husband was married when he was younger but they never had kids. He talks about kids. I never thought I would ever have kids. I am young enough, but my past isn't really about having kids. I don't kid myself, in college I was an outright stripper and whore, that's why I don't have any student debt. And escorting is the same thing, you go out to let a guy have sex with you for money. It's good money, even after the split with the escort service. I own the condo I lived in when I met my husband. It is rented it out now, and I will sell it to use for a down payment for buying a house with him. I told him I got the money to buy it from my grandfather when he passed away. Another big lie.

That is what I came here to say, to practice telling the truth. I can't believe how guilty I feel now about how I got through college or made money on the side while I was working. I confessed to a priest, I was a Catholic growing up, but all I got was the forgiveness thing if I do penance. It's my husband that I fell guilty about not telling him. I am crying right now because I don't want him to ditch me.