Confession #40079 | Anonymous Confessions

- Anything Goes -

Straight Male / 25

I cried at my sister's wedding last weekend. Everyone just assumed I was happy for them, but the truth is I just realized how alone and pathetic I am.

I'm 25, never had any kind of serious relationship, never done anything meaningful with my life, and I've had sex a grand total of four times with the same woman, all within the last two years.

I really hate myself. I wish I were dead.

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# 40079 - by Anonymous

by Anonymous

You are 25 and within past two years you have had sex four times with same person.

Is she your sister you were having sex with? I don't mean this to be rude question. I understand that you would like to do something with your life, but you are only 25 years old!

Have you got s degree or job? If not, that is your start. Get a job or study something.

Get a hobby. That is your second step. That is second step, because most hobbies cost something and for that you need job.

With a hobby, you can meet people. That is your third step. Meet people.

When you meet new people, you can have sex.

Life is about circles. Your first circle is your home. In your home you are with your parents and your siblings. Your next circle was school, and there were you met your friends. In the future, also your spouse will be in this second circle too. But you cant meet your spouse without the third circle. Third circle are the "network". First network threads are made by your friends, who are bringing new people to you, but now it is your time to step to the fourth circle. Get proper adult hobbies, studies and/or job, where you can meet new people yourself. These people will allow you to have more contacts from the fourth circle, which is usually the "world". From here you usually get your spouse too, and together with your spouse, you will form a steady first circle to your offspring.

You cant get all of that over night. You need to build it yourself. Your parents job was to taught you how to be social. Social skills are needed in this part of your life. You have all those skills already, but you are only afraid. You are afraid what if other people can see through you how pathetic you are. But believe me, every single person have gone through the same shit you are going through now. Every single person have been afraid.

You need to do something about your life yourself, because your friends or your parents can't bring enough people to you.

That is the big picture, but here is a little story of how you can actually achieve all that in practice. I met a guy, just like you, who didn't knew what to do with his life. I asked what did he wanted to do later in his life, and I asked him not to give me some bullshit answer he thought his friends or parents would like him to be. I wanted to hear his own wish. He said he would like to be a rock star.

Okay, not easy to achieve, but not impossible either.

He didn't knew how to do that and we began to seek steps how to reach that point, because being a rock star is an achievement, not a step.

First thing was, he needs to buy a quitar. Then he needs to learn to play the quitar and for that he needs to find a teacher. Then he needs to find a group of people who want to play together with him. I suggested him to contact people online and visit few sites where people like to talk about music. When he would meet the group, they must get social and play together in front of other people by selling their group to local bars and happenings. Being a rock star is not only a job for quitarists who like to play at home, it is being a social.

The important point is to find a goal, maybe not the final goal of your life but at least something (like buying a car, etc), and then slice it up to tiny steps and sometimes slice those steps into even smaller steps you need to and most importantly CAN do.

Do you play computer games? In roleplaying games, there are quests. You can think it like that too. You have a quest and you do whatever it needs to fulfill it.

The problem in this life is, that if you stay at home, nobody will come to get your from there. If you won't do nothing with your life now, your parents will get older, your friends will meet new spouses and then they will be busy with their own lives and children, and you just get too old for some things.

There is still at least 20 good years for you before you are getting old. You still have plenty of time to fix all the bad things in your life. And always remember, it is never a shame to ask help and support. If I can do it, and other people can do, so can you.

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by Anonymous

It could be worse. I'm 36, never been married...and just got broken up with. Saw this girl multiple times a week for months...and then out of no where, she stopped returning my texts and calls. No explanation
. I'm heartbroken.

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