Lesbian Female / 27
I found myself unemployed and on the street. I had moved in with a girl I knew, but my week was up and I had to move. The man who took me in, an acquaintance, gave me a pretty strict time limit as well. Any job, ANY job.
I gave myself to him. I could not get out and look for a job. My car broke down, and I didn't have money to fix it. I went to him and told him that he could have it all. Whatever he wanted. BANG, BANG, BANG, he took it out on me. BANG, BANG, BANG. Over and over again. What did he expect? I am a lesbian, he knows that I am a lesbian. Why would a lesbian be on birth control? It didn't matter to him. BANG, BANG, BANG, night after night, no period, he didn't care, BANG, and it was BANG, BANG, BANG. No period. PREGNANT. Pregnant! What do I know about being pregnant? I never once in my life dreamed I would be pregnant.
What do I know? Nothing. I am going to classes at the hospital now, with all these other young women who are all excited about being pregnant. I have to fake it. Be happy with them. They touch my stomach and ask me to touch theirs. We had breastfeeding orientation the last time, and they passed around a doll to hold. Anatomically sized newborn doll. They are so small. I am supposed to choose, natural, or epidural. Is the father going to be with me during the delivery? Do I have a name picked out? Do I know the gender or am I going to wait? We saw a birthing video. Not nice at all.
We are supposed to start Lamaze next week. Everyone is going to meet the father. The father. Not my husband. At least there is one other girl who is not married.
He took me to look at baby furniture, to dress up the nursery. All my friends are laughing at me because I am knocked up. I sold out. My friend is having a baby shower for me. An all lesbian baby shower. No gender reveal, I chose to find out when the baby is born. They have picked pink as the shower motif. It just has to be a girl doesn't it? If it is a boy I will be excommunicated from them. And they want to meet the father. What is the father like, is he nice? does he treat me well? will I stay home with the baby? Are we getting married after the baby is born? Are you giving up on us? Or will you still be our friend?
I don't have a job. I never looked for one. I became a princess overnight. I really want to know what I am going to have, but now he is on board with waiting. No gender reveal party. Not until the baby is born.
I gave myself to him. I could not get out and look for a job. My car broke down, and I didn't have money to fix it. I went to him and told him that he could have it all. Whatever he wanted. BANG, BANG, BANG, he took it out on me. BANG, BANG, BANG. Over and over again. What did he expect? I am a lesbian, he knows that I am a lesbian. Why would a lesbian be on birth control? It didn't matter to him. BANG, BANG, BANG, night after night, no period, he didn't care, BANG, and it was BANG, BANG, BANG. No period. PREGNANT. Pregnant! What do I know about being pregnant? I never once in my life dreamed I would be pregnant.
What do I know? Nothing. I am going to classes at the hospital now, with all these other young women who are all excited about being pregnant. I have to fake it. Be happy with them. They touch my stomach and ask me to touch theirs. We had breastfeeding orientation the last time, and they passed around a doll to hold. Anatomically sized newborn doll. They are so small. I am supposed to choose, natural, or epidural. Is the father going to be with me during the delivery? Do I have a name picked out? Do I know the gender or am I going to wait? We saw a birthing video. Not nice at all.
We are supposed to start Lamaze next week. Everyone is going to meet the father. The father. Not my husband. At least there is one other girl who is not married.
He took me to look at baby furniture, to dress up the nursery. All my friends are laughing at me because I am knocked up. I sold out. My friend is having a baby shower for me. An all lesbian baby shower. No gender reveal, I chose to find out when the baby is born. They have picked pink as the shower motif. It just has to be a girl doesn't it? If it is a boy I will be excommunicated from them. And they want to meet the father. What is the father like, is he nice? does he treat me well? will I stay home with the baby? Are we getting married after the baby is born? Are you giving up on us? Or will you still be our friend?
I don't have a job. I never looked for one. I became a princess overnight. I really want to know what I am going to have, but now he is on board with waiting. No gender reveal party. Not until the baby is born.
