When I first met my husband he mentioned, a little too serious, that he wanted lots of kids, that he understood that women today were not into ten, twelve kids. But, what if I shared the responsibility? with my sister. The subject never died and he worked hard to keep her for himself. He broached the subject with her, even before we married. But she was sixteen/seventeen at the time. From the day we married he insisted on having her live with us, until he just stated he was tired of waiting. He wanted her. And he sent me to get her. I did what he asked, I sent her to him, but I got in her bed instead of going with her and waited for her to return, all woman by him.

She is my sister, she has always been his favorite, from the time she was a little girl. He has what he wants now. I want her to finish college before settling down to have children. I agreed from way back then that I would have a reasonable family size, my sister is the only person I could possibly do this with, because I know she is his 'girl'. She doesn't know any other life, from her earliest adult awareness she only knows she is his. She never questions living together, sharing.

My home, from the day we married, has been about, him, her and me. I know I sound jealous. Maybe, but just once I would have liked him to carry me, hold me like her. I want to feel what she feels, I want to be 'his' like she is his. She is my baby sister, and now she sits at the table with me talking about wanting to do her share. All adult now, all woman to him. Some days she makes me feel old.