For a long time I struggled with my 'bad habit', but I have come to accept it. My bad habit is that get an urge to suck a man off. I don't like boys or young men, I am talking about a man who is in his fifties or sixties. I work in the hotel business and I am currently an assistant manager for a large chain of hotels and I am based in a large metropolitan area.

I discovered my habit when I was a management trainee. I was working the night duty desk. I was recently out of college and pretty straight laced. For example I had never been in a bar. The night auditor was a man in his late fifties. He worked nights and was usually unshaved and his shirts were never ironed. Since he didn't have to be out in public the hotel chain allowed it, but the real reason is that he was reliable, very good, and he showed up.

Well anyway, to get to the point. One night things were slow. I had finished all my tasks and I was back in the audit room speaking with him and he said he could really use a blow job right then. He unzipped his pants and told me to get down on my knees and show Old Pop how a good little rich boy sucks cock. I was maybe 18 inches from him when he opened his pants. He reached over and grabbed me by the cock and he said in a very rough voice to get down and suck him.

I can still see his cock, standing straight up, it was bigger than his fist, and he grabbed my head by the hair and pulled me over until I put his cock in my mouth. He leaned back and let me suck, from time to time pushing my head back down, he said he had an ear to the front desk, so keep on sucking, to get my tongue working on him and to get my hand around his cock and stroke him hard. He came in short squirts, heavy cum, which he had me lick off his cock, to use my fingers to get the cum off his pants and lick it down. After that night I was his cock sucker. I went to his house several times in the morning after we got off to suck him cock and get in the shower with him so he could soap me up and finger me. He took my virginity. As long as I was assigned to that property I was his boy toy and he was my man.

I went on to several other properties and from time to time I would meet up with a guest and through conversation I would enquire as to his needs, and pushing the envelope in many occasions I found a man who let me come to his room and suck his cock. Once in a while, a man wanted more than a blow job, and once in a while I bottomed for the man. Frankly sucking cock is what I wanted, but every once in a great while, I wanted to bottom for the man.

I am in my late forties now, and most of the men I hook up with I meet at bars. I sit at the bar and if there is a man sitting alone I try for a conversation, and from time to time the conversation gets going and from time to time the man is open to a blow job. Some blow jobs are in the bathrooms, some are in cars, some are out in the alley, and once it was in a booth in a quiet bar and bartender didn't stop us. It is a very bad habit.

I have never desired to have a relationship with anyone. I live alone, I never bring someone to my house. It has been a long time since I approached a guest at the hotel. I know better. My contacts are all made outside of work and not close to my house. I have had my share of truck drivers, when I hung out at these bars close to the highway and the motels, but now I hang out at classier bars downtown, and I get together with men traveling or men who live alone and can use a blow job. From time to time the chemistry is right and I bottom, which releases a whole lot of built up tension. I have reached the conclusion that every once in a while I need to get fucked.

I don't travel or consider myself part of the gay community, but I pretty much understand that I am homosexual. I am a cock sucker and have been for the last 25 years. I have never gone back to look up Old Pop from that management trainee job I had, but I do think about him and his big hands holding me down. I guess you always remember your first, and no one after that really ever measures up.