I've been seeing the same gynecologist for a pretty long time, about a decade probably. When I started with him he told me that he found that his patients felt better with a curtain blocking their view of what was going on between their legs. And he was right, I felt more relaxed as long as he warned me before he was about to touch me with something cold or do something painful.

So for about a decade now I've been going to the same gynecologist, he puts up the curtain, and I don't see what he's doing.

A few visits ago I got curious about what he was doing on the other side of the curtain. He had a speculum inserted but didn't seem to be doing anything otherwise. So, I leaned over and peeked under it. He was holding his phone, it looked like he was recording or taking pictures. His cock was out, he was wearing a condom and jerking off. As I watched, he moved between my legs and put the head of his cock just inside the speculum. I could feel it, but just by feeling I wouldn't have known that's what it was. He slowly pushed his cock deeper inside until I felt the tip touch my cervix, then he pulled it out just as slowly.

After that I couldn't make out what he was doing. He had tools, little sticks and cotton swabs, a thin metal rod. I could feel them inside me while he held up his phone, recording while he probed me.

Finally he took the speculum out, but then he started "examining" my vulva, feeling my inner labia, pulling back the hood of my clit and rubbing around it with a finger, still recording. He set the phone down and started jerking off again while he put his face down just inches from my pussy. After he came he tossed the condom and told me he'd finished the examination. I acted like nothing was up, put my clothes back on and left.

I've been back a few times since then. When I've peeked since then he's been doing different things than that time, but he seems to take his cock out pretty much as soon as the curtain goes up. The one time he told me he was about to use a larger instrument, making something up about measuring the temperature of vaginal discharge or whatever, then he put his condom-sheathed cock into me without the speculum.

I haven't quite figured out what to do with this information. I was dumbfounded the first time but after I went home and thought about it it kind of turned me on, especially thinking back to all the previous visits, that he's been m****ting and r****g me for years and I didn't know because I never looked around the curtain, questioned anything he said, or thought about what I was feeling happen beyond "oh that feels weird. Gynecology though right?" Thinking about what all he's done in the past that I don't know about.

Honestly, if I could go back to not knowing I would. Not because it disgusts me, but because right now it turns me on to think about being blissfully unaware that I'm being sexually abused because I don't know what's going on on the other side of the curtain. As it is though, unless I can think of something else to do with this knowledge, I think I'm going to go back to not peeking. I'll just try to imagine what he's doing by what I feel. Not knowing what he's doing to me turns me on more than actually being able to see what he's doing does.