So....

I am having quiet a hard day today now that I am working on my sex addiction
I just finish watch some hardcore Nigerian porn

I used my shampoo bottle as substitution for a Penis to the point where I am bleeding

I want to call my partner up and have sex chats but don't think that's a good idea.

We came so close to finding a Nigerian to explore me and sometimes I feel like I just should just to get it out of the way and move on from the urge and fantasy of it

So I'm between fulfilling our fantasy and not going back to who I was which was have sex with every guy I could get my hands on. .

I also respect him a great deal and don't know what effect this will have on both of us
What's a girl to do...