It is impossible to wipe your ass and not get shit stains on my underwear. I wipe and wipe and wipe and later on when I take my tighty whities off, there they are the old familiar shit stains. From now on when I take a shit, I am going to wipe my ass then get in the shower and wash between my ass cheeks real good.

The same with piss stains. I take a piss and I shake the dew off my dipper and the next morning there are fucking piss stains.