I am so depressed but hide it well. I have incredible back with spine and neck pain I have to hide from everyone. its ruined my work life and love life. I tried to do self sex today and that was not gorgeous event. then finally origami a few times and got up but all day the pain is there to the point I cry from the pain. I have to hide away because of fat ugly appearance that no one likes. but if I do dare go out I have to put on the pretend face and limp in every way limp my poor life and body and heart and empty loneliness that can't be filled for the last 30 years. I hobble around some days and after being out all day fall into bed to ease all the lower vertebrate and that is all my life has been for the last 30 years and I am now turning 47 and too old for a baby and real relationship. not thanking you world.