I'm a bi-curious male. I'm 18 and a virgin. I met a guy online and we started to speak and we traded kik names. We started getting sexual and started sending nudes

I thought i'd spice things up by adding some anal play. I decided to use a hairbrush as i don't have a dildo. I lubed up my asshole and then the handle of the brush before sliding it inside of my hole. I began to film myself as i bent over and I pushed it all in slowly and then began to thrust it in and out. It didn't hurt it was just uncomfortable.

This lasted about 30 seconds before i pull it out and stopped filming. I sent him to video and he really liked it so i decided to send another.

This time i was on my back with my legs in the air. I used my left hand to fuck my ass with the brush and then i used my right hand to film it. It lasted about 45 seconds before i pulled it out and sent him the video, again he liked it and said he came over it. And i liked that.

But afterwards i started to feel horrible about what i had just did because my ass was sore and a mixture of blood, lube & a little bit of poop had leaked out onto a towel i had laid out and my brush.

I felt disgusted and i quickly tried to clean it. I had to throw away the towel but i cleaned the brush but it still smells a litte. I feel so fucking disgusting as these fluids had leaked out.

In porn and from stories i read on here, i thought anal sex would be clean and tidy but my first experience was all dirty and horrible. I felt so sick afterwards and even cried. My ass was sore and my room smelt of sweat and that horrible stuff.

I feel like a freak. It's put me off anal play and experimenting with guys. Is this natural or am i weird. Am i being overdramatic or is this normal for someone's first time with anal play. I had to get it off my chest as it happened about 45 minutes ago as of me writing this. It's still fresh in my mind and my body of course.

Please leave comments with help and feedback so i can understand why this happened and if it's normal, thanks.