I posted as bisexual but I consider myself straight. I grew up with out a father and a narcissistic, sociopathic, mother who I didn't realize was fucking crazy until now. and it was confusing growing up but I have realized why my father left and never really wanted to do with my mother... I would get pissed off if anyone would call me gay and when kids are young there is name calling. so my crazy fucking mother cough on to it and knowing I would get upset she would call me gay and not only that she convinced her entire extended family of that. so I became confused as hell as young adult. this is why I know she is crazy because no normal mother would bully her own son. and im not complaining women test men to see if they really mean what they say and want, my mother is a relentless, knows zero boundaries, bottom pushing, aggressive woman...

to get to the point, I questioned my sexuality my whole life because of it. but from a young age I knew I wanted a family and a wife and have a happy home. but the mental abuse I received from a toxic family got the best of me.

so I decided to try gay sex, hey I didn't die, it felt good to have my cock sucked on or to fuck a tight ass. getting fucked took some getting used to, but eventually it felt good too. they only thing is I don't believe myself to be gay even though I've had a lot of gay sex.

Gay men I come to realize all have some sort of trauma and only a very few are born gay. most have been abused sexually, physically, and or emotionally. most are sensitive men that become hooked on the constant sex available. which I know believe is the way to cope with the pain they feel of not being loved and abused as they grew up as children. some come to the conclusion that getting fucked at a young age from an abuser was their choice which it was not. other don't realize their parents are crazy and are either broken emotionally or emotionally abused...

well ive been seeing a gay man my age who I really like and he has been fucking me with his 8" cock. he has a crazy mama too. the only difference is I will not allow anyone to make me feel different or allow what they say affect me. if I learned anything from growing up with a crazy bitch of a mother, it was to be mentally tuff and to not let anything bother me. so when I see my sex partner go into some gay whiny complaining rant I cant handle it. I believe that men are still men and should act like it. and complain is only for bitches.

so im starting to believe that being gay is a lifestyle. I like the sex but do not want to live with a dude have a relationship with a dude or anything with a dude. just two dudes getting off with each other. gay people have to many metal health issues that they don't realize they have to work through.

Im not judging, as you can tell I have a lot of mental issues myself. but im willing to work through them and get the best out of life possible. I am convinced that the only reason I had gay sex was of resentment and anger of all the bad shit my mother and extended family put me through. the more I work an having piece of mind and getting past all the abuse and trauma the more I realize Im straight and had been conditioned to be gay by people who hated me or at least that's what I believe. because other than that, I would not be able to understand why they treated me the way they did with abuse as I grew up.

it sounds crazy but think about it.