Straight Female / 39
Maybe other women will understand.
When I was 15 my father left. Just left. My mother and I had to move out of the house we had rented and move into an apartment complex. My mother's car stopped working and she lost her job. Our neighbor, a man who was already past 30, noticed that we were in trouble and he started to help. He told my mother that he would help us if he got to marry me. After several discussions my mother agreed and as I was 16 by then, all we needed was my mother's consent and I got married.
By 21 I had four kids and we had moved to Texas where I had my fifth kid. The lady next door helped me and caused me to finish my high school and get a high school diploma, which was by correspondence. She was very stern about education and told me that if I was uneducated I was never going to amount to anything. I went to night school to learn bookkeeping while she watched my kids. She also cooked for us when I was at school.
After night school, where I earned an associates degree she pushed me to register for the local college and paid for me and took care of my kids after school for those that were already in school and for those that were still in preschool. I got an accounting degree. She pushed and pushed and pushed and would not let me quit, I earned a CPA and she got me a job at a large company.
I am a pretty good at my job and I have earned several promotions. I am never allowed to stop trying and my kids get the same treatment, school, school, school. There is no let up.
I know why she helps me, not that I noticed, my husband noticed and he told me but it took me a long time to accept it. She is a lesbian and she is in love with me. On that front the line is pretty bright and there is no crossing the line, not that she has ever made any moves in that direction. There is no question that she is a lesbian.
I am very fond of her, but as a mother figure. She is the same age as my husband and she is completely intertwined in our family. She is with us for all holidays and she is very nice to my husband, and calls him to task if he loses focus on his family obligations. Since she came into our lives my relationship with my husband improved, maybe because I grew up and he had to start dealing with me as a woman and not a child.
My mother did what she had to do, it took me a long long time to see that she was looking after my welfare. Not that I would do what she did, but she did and I accept it now. Unfortunately I resented what she did and my relationship with her is not good at all and we hardly ever speak.
I try not to think of what would have been of me if my mother would not have sent me into marriage, and we would not have ended up here and I had not met this woman. Her love for me is very difficult to reconcile, but that she is in love with me there is no doubt. I am very much in love with my husband now, he is my reason for being. If he didn't love me back I would be hurt forever. I worry that I can't love her back like that.
When I was 15 my father left. Just left. My mother and I had to move out of the house we had rented and move into an apartment complex. My mother's car stopped working and she lost her job. Our neighbor, a man who was already past 30, noticed that we were in trouble and he started to help. He told my mother that he would help us if he got to marry me. After several discussions my mother agreed and as I was 16 by then, all we needed was my mother's consent and I got married.
By 21 I had four kids and we had moved to Texas where I had my fifth kid. The lady next door helped me and caused me to finish my high school and get a high school diploma, which was by correspondence. She was very stern about education and told me that if I was uneducated I was never going to amount to anything. I went to night school to learn bookkeeping while she watched my kids. She also cooked for us when I was at school.
After night school, where I earned an associates degree she pushed me to register for the local college and paid for me and took care of my kids after school for those that were already in school and for those that were still in preschool. I got an accounting degree. She pushed and pushed and pushed and would not let me quit, I earned a CPA and she got me a job at a large company.
I am a pretty good at my job and I have earned several promotions. I am never allowed to stop trying and my kids get the same treatment, school, school, school. There is no let up.
I know why she helps me, not that I noticed, my husband noticed and he told me but it took me a long time to accept it. She is a lesbian and she is in love with me. On that front the line is pretty bright and there is no crossing the line, not that she has ever made any moves in that direction. There is no question that she is a lesbian.
I am very fond of her, but as a mother figure. She is the same age as my husband and she is completely intertwined in our family. She is with us for all holidays and she is very nice to my husband, and calls him to task if he loses focus on his family obligations. Since she came into our lives my relationship with my husband improved, maybe because I grew up and he had to start dealing with me as a woman and not a child.
My mother did what she had to do, it took me a long long time to see that she was looking after my welfare. Not that I would do what she did, but she did and I accept it now. Unfortunately I resented what she did and my relationship with her is not good at all and we hardly ever speak.
I try not to think of what would have been of me if my mother would not have sent me into marriage, and we would not have ended up here and I had not met this woman. Her love for me is very difficult to reconcile, but that she is in love with me there is no doubt. I am very much in love with my husband now, he is my reason for being. If he didn't love me back I would be hurt forever. I worry that I can't love her back like that.
