I know you are all aware of the term "Sharting"....To most of us, it is something that happens to other people. I. am one of those people...and this is a regular occurance, that I am not proud of, but know that there are others like me who share the same curse. Laugh if you must, but know that this can happen to anyone at any given moment.
It was Monday morning at the office, I had an extremely festive weekend, filled with lots of liquor and spicy food. I knew I was due for a good one, but prayed that I could controll it, or at least contain it until I was in a private location. Throwing caution to the wind (no pun inteneded), I decided to endulge in a cup of coffee with my co-workers and brag about our weekend encounters. We all decided that Ralph had the most fun chasing his Girlfriend down the street naked, as she was swinging his secret pair of womens underwear...determined to let everyone know he was a FREAK! We all started to laugh uncontrollably, and wouldn't you know it......IT HAPPENED! Benny, my assistant, pointed out that I cut the biggest fart.....little did he know, it was liquid gas, flowing rapidly down my legs. What was I to do. I thought to myself quickly, spill your coffee on yourself...that may disguise the puddle growing around my shoes, If I'm lucky! Unfortunately, those extra large coffee grounds were unexplainable.....I was up shit creek, literally! Suddenly, the laughter stopped, and all I could see was the shock in peoples faces. Benny blurted out, Dude, what the hell was that? You Sharted again? I collapsed to my knees in total embarrassment....now I did it, up to my knees in shit in front of the entire office. This was not the first time it had happened in front of people, but it was the first time in my work place. Sally, the office Geek, kindly threw me some napkins, then ran out of the coffee room. Then, one by one.....everyone followed her, except for Benny. For an instant, I almost thought he would help me out.....that's just not Benny! All he could say was...Dude, what the fuck did you eat this weekend? This coffee room will never be the same.....get some help! I went home that day, and never went back to work! Could you blame me? This is the 6th job I've lost in 2 years due to the inability to determine whether its natural or liquid gas. Not to mention the numerous pairs of underwear I've ruined. I considered going commando, but at least with underwear, there is a slight delay in puddling...for whatever thats worth!
Laugh, if you must.......but remember, This could always happen to you, or the person next to you! There, I feel better......and above all, DRY!
It was Monday morning at the office, I had an extremely festive weekend, filled with lots of liquor and spicy food. I knew I was due for a good one, but prayed that I could controll it, or at least contain it until I was in a private location. Throwing caution to the wind (no pun inteneded), I decided to endulge in a cup of coffee with my co-workers and brag about our weekend encounters. We all decided that Ralph had the most fun chasing his Girlfriend down the street naked, as she was swinging his secret pair of womens underwear...determined to let everyone know he was a FREAK! We all started to laugh uncontrollably, and wouldn't you know it......IT HAPPENED! Benny, my assistant, pointed out that I cut the biggest fart.....little did he know, it was liquid gas, flowing rapidly down my legs. What was I to do. I thought to myself quickly, spill your coffee on yourself...that may disguise the puddle growing around my shoes, If I'm lucky! Unfortunately, those extra large coffee grounds were unexplainable.....I was up shit creek, literally! Suddenly, the laughter stopped, and all I could see was the shock in peoples faces. Benny blurted out, Dude, what the hell was that? You Sharted again? I collapsed to my knees in total embarrassment....now I did it, up to my knees in shit in front of the entire office. This was not the first time it had happened in front of people, but it was the first time in my work place. Sally, the office Geek, kindly threw me some napkins, then ran out of the coffee room. Then, one by one.....everyone followed her, except for Benny. For an instant, I almost thought he would help me out.....that's just not Benny! All he could say was...Dude, what the fuck did you eat this weekend? This coffee room will never be the same.....get some help! I went home that day, and never went back to work! Could you blame me? This is the 6th job I've lost in 2 years due to the inability to determine whether its natural or liquid gas. Not to mention the numerous pairs of underwear I've ruined. I considered going commando, but at least with underwear, there is a slight delay in puddling...for whatever thats worth!
Laugh, if you must.......but remember, This could always happen to you, or the person next to you! There, I feel better......and above all, DRY!
