When I was about 10-11 I had many gay experiances with one of my friend and loved it (the furthest we went was oral), now 8 years later I think about it so often and it makes me really horny. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years but I've always wanted to just get fucked in the ass, suck cock and drink cum. She doesn't know and never will but I'm desperate to try it, I keep thinking of going to local cruising sites or a bathhouse but if i do I will feel unfaithful to her

Any ideas or comments?