In the early 1970's, I was a kid and read comic books. Back then they advertised all sorts of stuff in comic books that you could get by mail order. One of these things was a bullet-shaped vibrating "massaging muscle relaxer". Being a naive young boy, I thought "What a great gift for Mom's Birthday!" So I saved up the five bucks and ordered it. You should have seen Mom's face when she opened it. I did not understand why my uncle thought it was so funny though.

It was almost thirty years later when one of my own kids showed me a similar ad on the internet and we had a laugh when I suddenly realized that, as a young boy of eight, I had given my mother a sex toy for her birthday.

I've been trying to work up the nerve to apologize for five years now.