I have been cross dressing every since I was age twelve on and off. The time when I did this the most was over a eight year time with two different girlfriends. Both accepted my cross dressing and would buy me clothing and help me be passable in public. I loved it and dressed full time when at home. The second girl friend of the two insisted that I be cross dress while at home. She would every once in a while make me dress when we went out. A couple of times when we were in a larger city near by, she told me that she expected me to dance with a man and kiss him while we were out. She even said I could take a man back to the room if that was what I wanted. None of this ever happened and I could tell she was not pleased even though she denied it.


Over the next few years she told me she was the dominate one and that she was going to arrange a sexual encounter for me with a man. She want him to give me anal sex and also have me suck his cock. She told me that I was a sissy and I needed to have sex with a man since sissies like men's cocks. I was to get used to the Idea and she would be getting her sex from real men. She went out several times with other men over the last year we were together. She was setting up a date for her fuck buddy to come up from down south for him to have sex with me. That is when I knew it was going to really happen. I ended the relationship at that point and it never did take place. That next summer I thought about what would have happened if we would have stayed together. I ended up going out several times that year and gave my first, second, and third blow job. The third one actually fucked me analy for my first time. That was the best sex ever! I thought that I maybe could be gay going forward but I really liked females and could not turn into a gay person.


Over the next ten years I only dressed in the privacy of my home when ever my girlfriends would be gone. She never knew about my pass. Then I got married and only dress when she is gone but most of the time, I do not do it. Which brings me up to where I am today. I dress once in a great while, which is rarely and I do miss it a lot. I have been buying more and more female clothing and have reconsidered the thought of sucking cock again. I do love my wife but have this sissy urge inside of me. My wife knows nothing about my past or that I like being a sissy. I would love to tell her but I am sure she would leave if she knew. So I sit and wonder daily what I should do. Should I take the chance and let her know with the assurance that it would lead to a divorce or start doing it behind her back. The thing keeping me from doing it behind her back is that I do not want to cheat on her. I would rather have her encourage me to do it.