As a sales agent, I spend a lot of time in offices, elevators, etc.
One day I started thinking, "What if someone shit in a crowded elavator?"
Well, that played out in my head a lot. So I went to my Grandpa's house and "borrowed" one of his Depends, and put it on under my suit the next morning.
I had an appointment on the 52 floor, finished, and got on the elavator. By the time we picked up the last we could on the 48 floor, I knew it was my chance.
As we got nearer to the main floor, I started pooping. A couple of people started looking around, scrunching their noses at the smell. A couple of people did that fake cough.
When the elavator stopped, my pants were full, the air stunk, and I was grinning like the Cheshire cat.
I then went home and washed my butt.