When I finished college my family felt it best that I marry MJ. She and I were at best not friends, barely knew each other. But the pressure was there and if I said no she was left at the altar. I was engaged but I didn't know it. We got married, we had a room made up in my grandmother's house, she said 'DON'T TOUCH ME!', I didn't. We lived with my grandmother, we never touched, she dressed and undressed in the bathroom, she slept on the floor. The rule was DON'T TOUCH ME!.
My uncle got me a job in Detroit, we moved there into our own apartment, she had her room now, she took care of the house, fixed food and asked for permission to attend the University to become a dietician. To be honest she had never asked permission before, she never talked. I said go for it, thinking if she could work it was better on me. I worked, she went to school, she fixed dinner, kept house. Two years into this marriage she asked for permission to have a child. Well if that made her happy. Two years later she asked for a second child.
In all the time we were married we had sex maybe a dozen times, and only so she could get pregnant. I used prostitutes, and for a while a girl I met at work. And I masturbated. I really believe she was fully oblivious as to my needs. My masturbating became my outlet, my only outlet, I had children. From time to time she asked for permission, to take the children to see her mother, to buy a dress, to go out to dinner so she could study. Her permissions were once in a while, it was just not the way I had been brought up.
We were at a neighbors, the wife asked her if she wanted to see the way he had remodeled the bathroom, she touched my arm 'can I?'. Yes, go. Little by little I started to realize she had shifted her center of authority. Her request for permissions was just how things were done in her house. Being given permission to get an education was a game changer, her kids softened her. Now she was a 'wife', she had accepted her lot in life. Ten years after getting married, ten years of masturbation, two children, she let herself be touched, she submitted to sex. I still masturbated, I felt I masturbated when I had sex with her, but she let me have sex with her. Permission requests were less formal, 'can I buy a gift for my friend?'.
One night I asked her if she missed living at home. She said she was my wife, why did I want to send her back home. Boy, something was seriously out of whack there. A little girl got her feelings hurt, she needed a lot of reassurance, she wasn't going to be sent back home. Eventually I found a woman to have sex with, grown up sex, for pleasure. My wife has never grown up emotionally. One day I realized she saw me as her other father. That's how she rolls. She is a big big sister to her kids, a little girl to me. Her mother and grandmother knew this, marrying her off was how they made sure she would be taken care of. I sure do need to spend time with my lady friend, sometimes there is no substitute to out right sex.
